I’ve never written for Sundays in the Park, and honestly, I don’t think writing is one of my strengths. I will probably have Chat GPT spruce this up a bit 😉. As I near the end of my second season on the board, I wanted to share my reflections as I consider if I want to continue on the board for the 2025 season.

TLDR: I challenge everyone to be better. Treat each other with respect. Prioritize safety. Layoff your board members so we don’t get burned out and quit, and people will continue to want to volunteer their time. Donate to our 2024 charity, Douglas County Special Olympics.

The Good

 

So this whole post isn’t so doom and gloom. I want to start by listing the things that have been incredibly rewarding as a board member and player in this community.

• Learning the intricacies of running a league as large and unique as KVKL
• Figuring out GOTW matchups each season (who doesn’t love a good puzzle!)
• Getting to know the other folks on the board and in this amazing community I may not have otherwise interacted with
• Trying new things on social media to keep folks engaged
• The opportunity to help the league apply for 501c3 status (still waiting for a response to our application…)
• Getting out of my comfort zone and growing as a person by sometimes having to have unpleasant conversations with folks
  • This may not come as a surprise to many, but harmony is one of my top strengths (shoutout CliftonStrengths). Which also means that I tend to avoid conflict at all costs. Being on this board has forced me to address conflicts and grow in my skills to deal with uncomfortable situations.
• Kickball is For All clinic
• Witnessing this community come together and support one of our own when they are going through hard times outside of kickball
• And my favorite thing, supporting our community organizations and the happy tears that come with handing a large check to our chosen charity at the end of each season

The Current, but Hopefully not Future, Bad and Ugly

 

When I decided to apply for the board, I was genuinely excited. I wanted to be a part of the team that makes the magic happen each season. However, once I joined, I started to experience a side of being a board member that I believe shouldn’t be reality. For the health and longevity of this league, I truly hope the below experiences don’t continue or we run the risk of no one having the desire to be on the leadership team.

Even with all the joys listed above, it often feels like my summers have been dominated by what I think are unnecessary headaches. At this point, you may want to get a beverage ready and take a drink every time that I mention that we are *unpaid* volunteers.

Especially this season, I have the overwhelming feeling that the board is taken for granted. That it doesn’t matter how we are treated, we will still show up every week to help make this league possible. It feels like folks forget that we are volunteers who have full-time jobs, lives, and responsibilities outside of this league. I am passionate about the success of KVKL (why else would I volunteer to be on the board?), it’s not the only thing I have going on in my life. So while I strive to keep an open mind to the ideas and opinions of our community members, it can be frustrating when people complain and ask why something hasn’t been addressed or changed right away. It’s not that I don’t care or that your idea isn’t good, it’s simply that I’m also focusing on the other priorities in my life.

It also feels like a group of nine people (again, unpaid volunteers) are expected to police the behavior of almost 1,000 adults all summer. Alongside that, it feels like the board is expected to respond to every single thing that happens in every game each Sunday. While I do believe the leadership of this league has the responsibility to uphold our code of conduct, rules, and values, I also believe that that responsibility shouldn’t fall solely on the board. Nine people cannot be at every game every Sunday and see everything that happens at KVKL sponsored events. In a community as large as ours, I believe community members also share in the responsibility of upholding our Code of Conduct, resolving conflicts amongst themselves (as adults do), and helping the league maintain a welcoming and inclusive culture. Maybe I’m being naive in believing that adults should be able to police themselves and work out some conflicts amongst themselves. I’m sure it can be annoying and frustrating when I say to file an official complaint by emailing us or submitting an incident report, otherwise we likely won’t address it. But I believe that boundary is necessary as unpaid volunteers. Otherwise, all we would ever do is address issues all summer, which would burn us out. To be clear, I’m not saying I, as a board member, won’t address any conflicts as there are absolutely situations where the board should get involved. But I also don’t think it’s necessary for us to address every single issue that happens.

There have been many days the past two summers where I question my decision to apply to be on the board in the first place. Where I’m almost in tears (and sometimes actually in tears) by the perceived expectation that we must do everything for the league 24/7. That the rules must be perfect and the culture must be perfect and only the board is responsible for all of that. I have looked into the benefits my employer provides for therapy because of my experiences on this board. KVKL brings me so much joy that I don’t want it to also be the thing that drives me to therapy, but that is my current reality.  I have privately contemplated quitting several times because I miss the days where I could just show up to the fields on Sunday, play some kickball with my friends, ref a game, watch my friends in GOTW, and go home with no additional responsibilities. I question why anyone would ever volunteer to run this league. 

My experience on the board has been that we’re addressing some kind of conflict or drama every single week, and frankly it sucks. That’s not what I thought I was signing up for. I’m sure that’s not unique to this season and has probably been going on since this league started. But maybe we should start asking ourselves, why is it this way? Why are we expecting the board to police the behavior of adults or address every little thing that happens instead of working things out amongst ourselves?

Maybe I’m overthinking things and my perception of how the board is treated isn’t reality. Maybe you think I should stop whining and complaining because I willingly volunteered to join the board and this is just what comes with running this league. Maybe you think I should just get thicker skin and not take this so seriously and personally. But, at what point is the onus no longer on me to grow thick skin but instead on our community to reflect on our expectations of our leaders? I do believe that KVKL wouldn’t survive without the folks who volunteer to run it (referees included!) and, if something doesn’t change soon, I don’t think there will be many folks left who want to volunteer.

I do recognize that a vast majority of this community has not contributed to my negative experiences on the board. I’m so incredibly grateful for every single person who has ever thanked me for the work I’ve personally done as a board member and appreciated what the board as a whole does for this league. I know it is a minority that contributes to my perception of how the board is viewed and treated. But oh boy is that minority LOUD.

Overall, it has felt that folks (myself included) are taking everything so incredibly seriously that they’re forgetting that this is a charity, recreational, adult, kickball league run by a small group of unpaid volunteers. I do want to work to make this league as welcoming and inclusive as possible, and safe for folks to participate in, but I also want folks to remember that KVKL isn’t the only thing going on in my life (or the other board members’ lives).

 

Back to the Good

 

The community that has been cultivated over the past two decades is so special and unique and even with all the headaches, I am honored to be a part of this community and a part of the leadership team. It is amazing to have a league where there is a place for all different types of talent, skill, ability, identities, competition level, and ideas of what it means to have fun. I think it is beautiful that this community has folks who want to be the best they can be at kickball to win an obnoxiously big trophy and thrive off the competition, and then also has folks who want to run around a field with their friends, drink a beer, and maybe don’t particularly care if they win or lose. All of those different perspectives are what make KVKL beautiful to me. And in the end, all these different folks come together to support and raise money for our community.

 

My Challenge to You

 

If you’ve read this far in my ramblings, props to you. I have some challenges for the members of this league.

Consider self-resolution. Next time you experience a conflict in a game or off the field, before immediately asking and expecting the board to address it, consider if it is something you can address yourself with the parties involved. If you are a witness to a conflict and find yourself complaining and asking why the board hasn’t addressed it, consider that maybe the folks directly involved have already worked it out amongst themselves.

Treat all members of our community with respect. Every single person in this community is deserving of respect, regardless of their kickball ability, how long they’ve been in this league, and any other identities they may hold. In a community as large as ours, there will be folks with different perspectives, experiences, and opinions. I think it is amazing that we have a forum like the Facebook group where folks can share and discuss their differing thoughts. But let’s remember to do so respectfully (and not in the sarcastic way we’ve been using “respectfully” all season). If you find yourself getting heated in a discussion, I encourage you to consider stepping away for a day or two. Then decide if it’s worth it to keep discussing or if it’s better to just move on.

Make Safety a Top Priority. As KVKL rule G.5. states: “Avoiding contact between runner and fielder should be a priority for all players”. Sometimes that means as a runner you should slow down and change course a little. Sometimes that means as a fielder you should slow down or not go for the ball, instead trusting that your backup is there.

I know accidents happen, but I believe this rule should be at the top of folks’ minds every inning of every game. As a runner, I would much rather be out and uninjured than safe but not two people are injured. As a defender, I would much rather the runner be safe and I miss a play than the runner be out but now both of us are injured. I truly believe it is possible for us to play fun and competitive kickball, while keeping safety as a top priority.

For refs, I encourage you to discuss potential interference even if contact doesn’t occur. Ask yourselves, “Did that runner not make it to base safely because they were avoiding contact with a fielder? Did that fielder not make a play on a kicked ball because they were avoiding contact with a runner?” If the answer is yes, consider discussing and calling interference. 

It will be absolutely impossible for us to design rules that prevent accidental collisions on the field. Just as much as all of you, I hate to see folks get injured during a game. Probably 99.99% of collisions I have witnessed in my eight seasons in the league have been unfortunate accidents. If contact is deemed to be intentional and malicious, I absolutely want to address that as a board member. However, and it’s okay if you don’t agree with me,  sometimes there’s just nothing we can do about accidental collisions besides encouraging folks to play with rule G.5 in mind. 

Remember that IFUs are so incredibly unserious. While there are valid reasons to revamp the IFU system, they currently are simply a slap on the wrist for breaking a rule. If you or your team receives an IFU, maybe instead of getting all worked up, just shrug and vow to do better next time.

Remember that the board is made up of UNPAID VOLUNTEERS. We’re also human. We will make mistakes. We will never be perfect. And that is okay. We don’t expect you to be perfect either. We want and need people to want to be on the board.

Be okay with imperfection. We will never be able to make this league perfect, especially as folks have different perspectives on what perfection even means. Our rules will never be perfect. How the board addresses issues will never be perfect. At the end of the day, all we can do is learn from our mistakes and the perspectives of others and strive to get better every day.

 

Final Thoughts

 

If you made it to the end, I thank you for reading my thoughts and learning about my experience. I’m truly not looking for sympathy or anything of the sort. I just wanted to share my experience and challenge this community to try to change the culture of how we treat volunteers (again, refs included!) so that we will continue to have folks who want to step up to keep KVKL alive and thriving. 

Ultimately, let’s remember what this league is all about. We bring together a wonderful group of diverse folks to play a kids’ game every Sunday. All to raise money and work for the greater good of our community.

Thank you for reading and being a part of this incredible community.

With all the love,
Elizabeth Karr

P.S. I actually didn’t need Chat GPT to spruce things up. This is all me baby. ❤️