Definitive, Pointless Power Ranking/Tier List Update – Week Three

Hello Everyone,

I’m back from vacation, which means it’s time to update the pointless power ranking/tier list thing. The fact that I’ve been out of town means I haven’t seen a single game over the past two weeks. To create this list I used whatever I already know about the team, combined with the results from this year so far.

The point of separating into tiers isn’t to show how much better the top teams are from the bottom, but to show how evenly matched teams within a given tier are. I did my best to come up with a 1-36 ranking, but for all intents and purposes games between two teams in one tier should be considered a pick ’em game.

Also note, this is 100% just for fun, and not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings. How much fun you are having as a team is the most important statistic, and also really hard to track.


Jake Garden



#1 Happy Shirt | — | 3-0 | Points For: 35 | Points Against: 10 | Runs Differential: 25 |

Happy Shirt has not been the most dominant team in the league through the first three games of the season. But unless I want to end up looking like one of those sports writers who pick Kansas to finish 3rd in the Big12 every year, Happy Shirt will remain king of these rankings until their undefeated streak ends.

#2 Channel 6 | ↑1 | 3-0 | Points For: 58 | Points Against: 16 | Runs Differential: 42 |

Channel 6 has one of the most impressive wins of the year so far, taking down the D-Holes 7-5 without one of their best players. You can’t do that without a strong roster top to bottom.

#3 Wildman Attack Force | ↑1 | 3-0 | Points For: 82 | Points Against: 4 | Runs Differential: 78|

Wildman Attack Force has been without a doubt the most dominant team this season, outscoring opponents 55-0 in weeks 2 and 3. It is worth pointing out, however, that the average rank of their opponents this year (according to this list) is 27.33.

#4 Kansas Tree Care | ↓2 | 3-0 | Points For: 27 | Points Against: 6 | Runs Differential: 21 |

It doesn’t feel right dropping an undefeated team with a roster as strong as thiss two spots, especially when they have the best defense in the league by runs allowed. That said, it seems like they have had a bit more trouble scoring and played closer games than I would have expected so far this season.




#5 Red Lyon | — | 3-0 | Points For: 41 | Points Against: 12 | Runs Ratio: 9.7 |

We’re on to you Red Lyon, with your roster shenanigans and “hatball,” and pretending this is all just about “having fun” and “not being jerks.” Please. We know what this is, a carefully constructed ruse to not be identified as one of the KVKL’s best.

#6 Love Garden Squids | ↑1 | 3-0 | Points For: 38 | Points Against: 7 | Run Ratio: 5.4 |

Despite a too close for comfort 9-4 game with the improved Merchants of Death. Love Garden has been coasting in relative comfort through the tough John Brown division. Awaiting them is a destined meeting with Kansas Tree Care in the week 5 Game of the Week.

#7 D-Holes | ↑1 | 2-1 | Points For: 35 | Points Against: 15 | Run Ratio: 2.3 |

The D-holes move up one spot after losing a close game to Channel 6 and bouncing back with an impressive win over Woost in the week 3 GOTW. The D-holes played their most important games early, and are now able to fine tune with eyes set on the 2 pool.

#8 Chalmersiz | ↓2 | 2-1 | Points For: 27 | Points Against: 13 | Run Ratio: 2.1 |

Chalmers drops two spots after losing to the Goats* and beating Muddy Waters Studios in the week 2 game of the week. Like the D-Holes, they had a tough loss and strong win since the previous rankings. They fall a spot lower on this ranking because, although they have allowed two fewer runs than the D-Holes, they have scored 7 less against roughly equivalent competition.

*On Grass




#9 Free State Growlers | ↑1 | 3-0 | Points For: 68 | Points Against: 7 | Run Ratio: 9.7 |

Welcome to the big leagues Free State Growlers. Despite the second best run ratio in the league, scoring nearly 10 runs for every run allowed, Free State is still a bit of a wildcard. Free State has benefited from an easy schedule through week three. The average rank of their opponents, 24. Still you can only play the teams you are scheduled to play, and Free State has impressed thus far.

#10 Goats | ↑4 | 3-0 | Points For: 51 | Points Against: 12 | Run Ratio: 4.3 |

Winners of the biggest upset in week 3, the goats jump up four places after knocking off Chalmersiz 9-5 @ Woodlawn Elementary. Would it have been a different game at Holcom Blue? Sure. Still, it takes a damn good team to beat a team of Chalmersiz quality anywhere, and the rest of the Goats resume emphasizes that point. This is a good team with a great shot at winning the Amelia Earhart divisions outright.

#11 Red Legs | ↑2 | 3-0 | Points For: 26 | Points Against: 14 | Run Ratio: 1.9 |

Blowing teams out a la Wildman is impressive, but scraping out a close win in the final innings is impressive in its own right. That’s what the Red Legs have done so far and now find themselves on a collision course with Happy Shirt for a decisive week 5 matchup. Worth noting: Happy Shirt and Red Legs both defeated Jazzhaus and Das Boot by the same margin of victory, 8 and 3 runs respectively.

#12 Das Boot | ↓3 | 1-2 | Points For: 35 | Points Against: 18 | Run Ratio: 1.9 |

Note: Das Boot’s week 5 match has not been included the statistics above.
Das Boot falls three places after losing to Red Legs in their second game of the day. Despite showing the potential to play with anyone (see: Week 1’s 10-7 loss to Happy Shirt), Das Boot seems to be continuing last years trend of coming up on the wrong side of every close game.

#13 Muddy Waters | ↓3 | 3-0 | Points For: 34 | Points Against: 15 | Run Ratio: 2.3 |

Muddy Waters Studio falls three places after losing to Chamersiz and a less than convincing 2-6 win over the Harpies (albeit a much improved Harpies). Despite having as good of place kickers as any team in the league, Muddy Waters have had trouble manufacturing runs over the past two weeks, scoring only 7.



#14 Rockets | ↑4 | 3-0 | Points For: 40 | Points Against: 10 | Run Ratio: 4 |

Rockets jump 4 places and into the top 15 after a 3-0 start. If they can be competitive against Wildman (within 10 runs or so) in their week 4 matchup, then expect this team to continue to climb. If not, they may be in for a difficult stretch during 2 pool play.

#15 The Woost | ↓3 | 2-1 | Points For: 53 | Points Against: 26 | Run Ratio: 2 |

This team’s had no problem scoring runs, even against quality opponents. It’s the defense that’s keeping The Woost out of the A tier, allowing almost nine runs a game.

#16 Merchants of Death | — | 1-2 | Points For: 13 | Points Against: 19 | Run Ratio: 0.68 |

Last year Love Garden v. Merchants was a 23-6 game. This year it was 9-4. MOD has shown they have the defense to at least hang around with top teams, but may be lacking the fire power to finish the job.

#17 Pawsh Wash | — | 1-2 | Points For: 11 | Points Against: 22 | Run Ratio: 0.64 |

Pawsh Wash is the perfect barometer to measure teams by in the KVKL. They play safe, intelligent defense. They get runners on and advance them. They aren’t amazing, but are solid in every facet of the game. If you aren’t playing or reffing at 5:00 on Sunday, I recommend heading down to South Park for Merchants v. Pawsh Wash in the low key GOTW.




#18 Corksuckers |↓3 | 1-2 | Points For: 24 | Points Against: 28 | Run Ratio: 0.86 |

The only team thus far to keep Free State from scoring an astronomical number of runs, and played Red Lyon reasonably competitively as well. I still think Corksuckers are a good team. Unfortunately, their results aren’t strong enough to justify remaining in the top 16 for now.

#19 Los Matadores | — | 1-2 | Points For: 17 | Points Against: 40 | Run Ratio: 0.43 |
Because we don’t know how good the 3-0 Rockets are or how bad the 0-3 Late Fees are, it’s pretty difficult to judge Los Matadores results. For what it’s worth, Los Matadores lost to the former 8-5 and beat the latter 8-5. I don’t know what is going to happen next week in a great match up vs. the Ghosts, effectively for 3rd in the Danny Manning, but I’m setting the over under at 13 runs.

#20 Ghosts | ↑3 | 2-1 | Points For: 29 | Points Against: 19| Run Ratio: 1.5 |

Too spooky, moving on.

I kid. Comparative games tell say that Los Matadores are the favorite in their week 4 matchup. That said, I think both teams are trending in the right direction, but Ghosts in particular are coming off a big confidence booster v. Leafy Greens. I say this weeks game is too close to call, but it’s certainly one to watch. 5:00 Lyons East.

#21 Rats | ↓1 | 1-2 | Points For: 36 | Points Against: 43 | Run Ratio: 0.84 |

Rats can score, but dang do they get scored on. Channel 6 scored 21 on them, or 36% of their runs this season. Woost scored 19, also 36% of total runs, and the Glass Kickers scored 3 AKA 60% of their runs this season.




#22 Sacred Sword | ↑7 | 1-2 | Points For: 38 | Points Against: 29| Run Ratio: 1.3 |

Oops. I guess Sacred Sword isn’t the 29th best team in the league. My bad. You didn’t have to go and take it out on Bad News Bagels, but point taken.

#23 Jazzhaus | ↑5 | 1-2 | Points For: 13 | Points Against: 25 | Run Ratio: 0.52 |

Jazzhaus pick up a big win over Where’s My Pitches, who admittedly were playing a double header in “hot as balls” heat. Still, credit captain Rick McNeely for staying positive and and the team for earning a well deserved victory.

#24 Where’s My Pitches | ↓3 | 1-2 | Points For: 27 | Points Against: 29 | Run Ratio: 0.93 |

Note: I did not count Where’s My Pitches week 5 game in the statistics above.
Tough, tough stretch for Where’s My Pitches. Despite the talk about record number of blowout games, I think it says something about the parity in this league that Where’s My Pitches is just a handful of runs away from being 3-0 through week 3. Instead they look destined for the 5 pool.

#25 Screamers | ↑1 | 1-2 | Points For: 11 | Points Against: 22 | Run Ratio: 0.5 |

The Screamers have shown that they can play, keeping it close with Kansas Tree Cares and Merchants. Unfortunately, their signature win against Johnny’s hasn’t exactly held up to scrutiny. Playing in the toughest division (in my opinion) isn’t helping either.

#26 Ladybird Harpies | ↑6 | 1-2 | Points For: 17 | Points Against: 32 | Run Ratio: 0.53 |

Ayyy! Ladybird jumps up 6 places after taking down Leeway Franks and giving Muddy Waters Studio all they could handle in week 3. If they can defeat the Homies this week, then the 4 pool awaits. The question is, how will the Harpies respond to playing as the favorite?




#27 Liberty Hall Late Fees | ↓2 | 0-3 | Points For: 12 | Points Against: 27 | Run Ratio: 0.32 |

The Late Fees are only 6 runs shy of being 2-1 right now. I don’t think they will have to wait much longer for their first win, however.

#28 Leeway Franks |↓4 | 1-2 | Points For: 22 | Points Against: 39 | Run Ratio: 0.56 |

Hot dog, another team that could easily be 2-1 instead of 1-2. (Sorry.) Its been their defense that has let Leeway Franks down, allowing 12 runs to the Harpies, for example.

#29 Johnny’s Tavern | ↓7 | 0-3 | Points For: 10 | Points Against: 37 | Run Ratio: 0.27 |

Ooof. I don’t think John Brown did this team any favors, but I think we all learned an important lesson. The KVKL is not a kind place to the kickball uninitiated, even to athletes.

#30 AsteroidHEAD | ↓3 | 0-3 | Points For: 13 | Points Against: 53 | Run Ratio: 0.25 |
Despite a 0-3 start, I still think AsteroidHEAD would be favored against KU Football if they got the chance. Definitely in football, maybe in kickball.

#31 Bad News Bagels |↓1 | 1-2 | Points For: 23 | Points Against: 57 | Run Ratio: 0.4 |

I’m glad this image was already on the internet, so I didn’t have to make it myself.

#32 Nick Lerner’s Homies |↓1 | 0-3 | Points For: 10| Points Against: 24 | Run Ratio: 0.19 |

RE: Cougar’s podcast predictions

#33 Brewballers | ↑1 | 1-2 | Points For: 18 | Points Against: 48 | Run Ratio: 0.38 |

Movin’ on up.




#34 Grandstand Glasskickers | ↓1 | 0-3 | Points For: 5 | Points Against: 57 | Run Ratio: 0.09 |

When you realize that the Glasskickers still have to play the D-Holes and Channel 6.

View post on

I’ll say one thing for the Grandstand Glasskickers, they know how to have fun, and in the end, isn’t that what this is all about?

Actually, don’t answer that question.


#35 Repetition Coffee | — | 0-3 | Points For: 7 | Points Against: 68 | Run Ratio: 0.1 |


Dear KVKL Board Members,

As your KVKL constituent, I implore you to consider a game of the week between Repetition Coffee and Leafy Greens during pool play. These two new members of our beautiful, dysfunctional kickball family should be joyfully welcomed to our league the right way — trial by fire under the lights of Hobbs Park. Fun would be had by all.

I even made a hashtag.


#36 Leafy Greens | ↓1 | 0-3 | Points For: 7 | Points Against: 77 | Run Ratio: 0.09 |

#CoffeeGreens4GOTW #CoffeeGreens4GOTW #CoffeeGreens4GOTW


Bonus Content! Ranking Divisional Strength

Screen Shot 2016-06-23 at 10.29.37 AM

What I did here was look at the average rank of teams in each division. Keep in mind, this is only as valuable as the ranking above, so by definition, pointless. I still thought it was pretty interesting, especially looking at how the strength in the divisional strength is distributed in the chart above. You can click on it to make it bigger. Here is the list from strongest to weakest:

John Brown: 16.2

Wilt Chamberlain: 16.8

Clyde Tombaugh: 18.7

Amelia Earhart: 19.5

Danny Manning: 19.8

Deron Belt: 20

With 36 teams, if the distribution were perfectly even, then the average rank should be 18.5. With that in mind, I think the board did a pretty remarkable job of creating even divisions.

Until next time!

Good luck in your games everyone!