I don’t really know where this came from, or why I even decided to do it, buuuuuut I did and you’re just gonna hafta deal with it. Or not. I don’t know. Anyway. These previews are loaded with references to John Travolta. Films, television, songs—you name it! And if you can find them all first, you win a prize! Fuck yeah!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jazzhaus vs. the Rockets @ Lyons West, 5 p.m.
The Rockets are coming off a close game versus the reigning champs, Happy Shirt, ultimately losing 14-9 or something. Those two squads seem to face off every year anymore, and the experts like to pick the Rockets as a sleeper team in spite of its struggles against upper echelon teams. It’s off to a pretty good 2-1 start, though, having beaten the Free State Growlers 15-3 and the Woost 12-3. Looks like 3 is one of the Rockets’ lucky numbers. (Hint. There are three John Travolta references in that paragraph alone.)
JOHN TRAVOLTA, IN CASE YOU FORGOT
The Jazzhaus, meanwhile, has a single win against the Liberty Hall Late Fees, 17-12, but don’t expect it to put up those kind of numbers against the Rockets, especially with its talented rookies. I wouldn’t expect another blow out for the Rockets, though—this Jazzhaus squad has improved (from what little I’ve seen), and we all know how the Rockets can struggle against reasonably matched teams the pundits predict them to beat.
Rockets > Jazzhaus
Channel 6 vs. Love Garden Squids @ Holcolm Red, 5 p.m.
The old dogs of Love Garden may not take the field these days, and Channel 6 may not play the prettiest game of kickball, but these teams are two of a kind. Both are undefeated, and both must take this game inning by inning, moment by moment, if it wants to stay alive and at the top of the Langston Hughes division. (That was an easy one.)
Last year, these were two of the best defensive teams in the league, challenged only by Happy Shirt and Wildman Attack Force. This game could also be the deciding factor for the top spot in this division, depending on how games six and seven play out with Red Lyon facing the Squids and Channel 6, respectively. The biggest difference between these two teams is how offensively effective the Squids are compared to Channel 6. The Squids are a high-octane, scoring machine. Channel 6 can certainly score, just not nearly as at-will—especially not against a team about as defensive-minded as its own.
I don’t really know why this isn’t the actual Game of the Week. Seriously. This ought to be one helluva game, and whichever team decides to take a chance (with Olivia Newton-John) with its base-runners will probably be the victor.
Love Garden Squids > Channel 6
AsteroidHEAD vs. ThunderkiXXX @ Lyons East, 7 p.m.
Last week, Thunderkickz had an ultra-close game against the Merchants of Death, winning 12-11 in 10 innings at South Park, while the off-and-on underdog-darlings in the Kaw Valley of Violence Kickball League, AsteroidHEAD, was decimated by Channel 6, 27-3. This could be one of those surprise wins for AsteroidHEAD, though, with a fresh-faced Jason “Gummy Bear The Movie 3D” Barr back on the team, and Capt. Pat Watkins having wrangled his team in a bit and put it back in the mix. (Oh—John Travolta might actually wear Wranglers—it seems like something he’d do, I don’t know—but that usage of the word “wrangle” wasn’t a J.T. reference. Just so you know. I wouldn’t trick you like that.)
Thunderkickzzzzz played a great game on grass last week. It struggled defensively at times, allowing a grand slam in the first inning, but had some clutch kicking in a couple innings to put it ahead. The Merchants of Death fought back, though, taking the lead late, until Wiggins and co. forced extra innings. It was a crazy game, really, and I had a blast as a part of it. The refs were great putting up with Austin W. and James W. shouting at everyone, and Rachna in particular helped keep Merchants in line. Literally, ‘cuz it almost kicked out-of-order. Man, Rachna—she’s so lovely.
AsteroidHEAD is off to an all right start with a killer win over Sacred Sword. Its problem is it’s also been crushed by Red Lyon and Channel 6. A win would put it back at .500 and in a legitimate position to earn the 4-spot in the Langston Hughes division. This could ultimately be a deciding win for AsteroidHEAD if it can stave off the razzamatazz of Thunderkix0rz.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And as a reminder, just because I wanted to get a couple more John Travolta references in, let’s all remember that while we all may be committing criminal activities out there every Sunday, let’s be cool and take care of the city we love so much, take care of our ourselves, and take care of each other.
OH, AND THIS GUY’S A CUNT. HE TOLD ME TO WRITE THAT, DON’T BE MAD AT ME. <3 YOU JOEY
So? How’d you do? If you’re the first person with a perfect score (hint hint!), I’ll buy you a six pack! Fuck yeah!