Like the title says—I asked my friends which games I should write about. They chose these and, being true to my word, I rolled with it.
Thunderkickz vs. Merchants of Death @ 5 p.m., South Park
Yes! my game comes first! Fuck yeah! James Wiggins is going to get the best pitches of his fuckin’ life!
Taco Tuesday vs. Mario Chalmersiz @ 7 p.m., South Park
After Taco Tuesday’s impressive win in Game of the Week last Sunday, we’ll get to see what it’s really made of. Wait? Am I still doing this looked-into-the-future schtick? Lame. Ahem.
Taco Tuesday looks to build on its 2-0 start against one of the league’s best defensive teams, the Mario Chalmersiz. We can probably all guess the outcome of this game, but if Taco Tuesday can keep it close, it will be a Pyrrhic victory, if nothing else.
We’ll also miss seeing you on the fields, Rachna! Show up and smile when you can. Also, just so you know, Chalmersiz—Brittany just asked me when and where she plays. I could have told her anywhere else, so consider this a huge solid from Your Humble KVKL Narrator.
Mario Chalmersiz > Taco Tuesday
Nick Lerner’s “Homies” vs. Ladybird Harpies @ 5 p.m., Edgewood
Both teams are winless on the season, but both teams have looked better since last year, especially the Harpies. The Homies lost 3rd baseman Colin, but has picked up a handful of quality players—several from K.C. Waka teams, as I recall. I don’t really know a lot about either of these teams anymore, but it wasn’t my call to write about this game. My friends picked it and I had to go with it. It should be a good game, though, right? The Harpies’ defense is better than in year’s past, but if it can handle some of the new Homies’ speed, and contain Mr.-Only-Man-More-Self-Deprecating-Than-Maybe-Me-Cougar, then the Harpies have a shot at earning its first win of the season.
Nick Lerner’s “Homies” > Ladybird Harpies
o1. Cougar (Homies) will kick a triple
o2. Katie Markus (Homies) will make a double-play
o3. Staci Taylor-Ahlvers (Harpies) will yell at Grant at will and it will be awesome
Woost vs. Liberty Hall Late Fees @ 7 p.m., Wrigley Field, Do. Co. Fairgrounds
The Woost had a tough time against the up-and-coming Rockets (we say that every year, don’t we? up-and-coming?) but this will be a good come-back game for Dan and co. The Late Fees had a tough draw to start the season against Kansas Tree Care, followed up by an improved Jazzhaus team, but it has the experience to keep the Woost at bay if it can adjust its defense appropriately. (Pro-Tip, Mick Cottin: Prevent the runners ahead of Dan and Esco from getting on base—they’re the RKI machines of the Woost. Remember: most runs wins. Fun doesn’t account for shit in this league!)
As is a common trend here at Sundays in the Park, especially early in the season, I haven’t gotten a chance to watch many teams yet, so knowing what and who to focus on is particularly difficult. And also, just a reminder—I didn’t choose to write about this game. I came up to Henry’s to write and asked my coworkers, “Hey, pick some games for me to write about. I’m not gonna tell you about the teams, just pick.” So don’t blame me for not knowing exactly what to say.
But I think the Woost will win and the Late Fees will score some runs in a few innings, somewhat sporadically.
Woost > Late Fees
o1. Mick Cottin (Late Fees) will kick 1.000
o2. Dan Mauga (Woost) will have an unprecedented three home runs
o3. Sean Jolly (Woost) will have an equally unprecedented double!
Love Garden Squids vs. Brewballers @ 9 p.m., Holcolm Red
This will be a test of the Brewballers’ mettle. Knowing its tendencies to implode (mostly at each other) in the past few years, even if it’s blown out and manages to maintain some dignity while doing it, I’d say it’s a good day. I mean, I know the Brewballers are different this year, but it’s hard to run from your past—believe me, I know. Oh, and just to reiterate—I didn’t pick this game to write about. It’s been fun, don’t get me wrong, but there are a few other games that probably could have been better to preview. Sorry the guys I asked don’t really follow kickball. Now that Brad “B-Rad” Everett and Chris “Smilez” Reilly have left Lawrence, Henry’s isn’t quite Kickball Central like it used to be. I know at least one of them will be back soon, though!
I’ve played against both these teams a collective six times in my KVKL career, and while the roster for each team has changed, the core surprisingly hasn’t changed that much. The biggest departures for each team are, of course, Phil Mitchell and Adrian Proctor for the Squids, and Tracy Flores and Mason Pine of the Brewballers (who went on to play for Red Lyon before bailing on KVKL entirely. <3). But you’ve got still got Rob Z. in charge of the Squids and Adrian Meneses drunk-reffing at 1st base. Some things never change.
Anyway. The Squids will run away with this game early on, and win by, like, 15.
Love Garden Squids > Brewballers
o1. Walker (Squids) will have a Grand Slam
o2. Brewballers won’t get on base until the 3rd inning
o3. Rob Z. (Squids) will be part of a triple play
Good luck out there! Drink coconut water and bring me some whiskey! It’s gonna be a hot one!