I know very little about how teams have changed over the last year. Instead of picking the best match-ups and
bullshitting discussing them, I’m just going to attempt to rank the top half of the league. For a more accurate top sixteen, I suggest checking out Mike P’s rankings on the KVKL website’s blog.
Billy Gay Cyrus’ Pre-Season Top 16
- Los Luchadores – They kicked ass last year, and will remain at #1 until someone knocks them down. All I know about LL 2.0 is that they kept Paul Santos, and lost Deron Belt—two big blows, in my opinion. The Brew Ballers had a great season last year and definitely know what they’re getting into in Week 1, an upset is not out of the question.
- Pita Pit – Nobody ever looks forward to playing these guys. The only team to win two championships in a row. They’re the anti-Creation Station, with an absurd amount of Ws under their belt. Whoever chose to put them against the new-to-the-league Cork & Barrel Corksuckers in Week 1 is an asshole.
- Chalmersiz – Probably the greatest team name in the League. I’ve practiced with these aging hipsters a few times this spring, and they will dominate the John Brown Pool (I see them beating Los Luchadores in week 6, in what would have been the 2010 Championship game had they taken down Pita Pit in extra innings during the semi-finals). Their first game is one of their hardest, and I can’t wait to see what they do.
- The Love Garden Squids – Another team that has a long history of kicking ass in the KVKL. They’re fast, smart, and slightly peeved about losing to the Chalmersiz last year in the tournament. They’re probably ranked a little low at 4.
- Sacred Sword – Not to be fucked with. These guys will move up and down everybody’s top five all season. They don’t need the bunt to kick your ass.
- Red Lyon
- Das Boot
- The Goats
- Liberty Hall Late Fees – maybe if you had volunteered to be the main contributor on this blog, your team would have made the top ten.
- Wilt Chamberlain (formerly Jazzhaus)
- Star Bar Barracudas (formerly Eastsiders)
- Replay Rowdies
- The Ghosts
- Brew Ballers
Five Games To Look Forward To – Week 1
- Sacred Sword > Wilt Chamberlain
- Chalmersiz > Red Lyon
- Los Luchadores > Brew Ballers
- Goats > Star Bar Barracudas
- Girls w/ LSE > Ms. Fortune’s — kind of wish this one was under the lights.
Please don’t hesitate to correct my pre-season predictions (I really don’t know what I’m talking about, anyways). Two days until opening day… is anyone else having trouble sleeping at night? What’s your top 10? How has your team changed/improved? Is Los Luchadores the same kickball monster from last year? What games are you looking forward to? Will the recent Four Loko ban hurt or help your team’s performance? Isn’t Sam Brownback the worst?
Get out there on Sunday, stretch, hydrate, and kick ass. Most fun wins! See you nerds at Hobbs!!!
Coach Billy Gay Cyrus
WE’RE SO CLOSE!!! GET PUMPED!!!