I’m not going to lie, this week is looking pretty boring as far as match-ups go—one can only hope we see some of the most outrageous upsets in KVKL history. We usually don’t play Fourth of July Weekend, so it will be nice to have any kickball at all. Upsets are not out of the question with teams missing players due to the holiday, and let’s not forget how fucked up people might be from a long weekend of partying (I’m looking at you Chalmersiz). In fact, I’m so confident there will be surprises this weekend that whoever correctly picks the most games will win a 12-pack of Hamms and a tiny American flag! Guess the combined score of The Game of the Week for a tiebreaker. Leave your picks in the comments section.
Home Run – South Park @ 5:30pm
Channel 6 (2-2) vs. Sacred Sword (4-0)
Sacred Sword is a powerhouse and should easily walk away with the win here, but channel 6 has the big kicks and the positive attitude that it takes to break The Sword. After putting up thirty-six points against The Fightin’ Harpies and only losing to The Goats by one in a very low scoring 3 to 4 finish, Channel 6 should give Sacred Sword a good game.
Prediction: Sacred Sword > Channel 6
Triple – Lyons East @ 7pm
Brew Ballers (1-3) vs. Chalmersiz (4-0)
Brew Ballers have had a rough start to the season, but they’re a great team that could easily surprise any team. Unfortunately for them, the Cahlmersiz’s Captain Candy has a major ringer flying in this weekend. Priest Fontaine of the Brooklyn Kickball League’s Championship team The John Cougar Mellencamps, and former member of the KVKL Championship Jensen’s team will be playing for the Chalmersiz on Sunday. Brew Ballers have another tough game in Week 5, unless the Chalmersiz overdue their Saturday night partying and don’t show up.
Prediction: Chalmersiz > Brew Ballers
Double – Water Tower Park @ 5:30pm
Star Bar Barracudas (3-1) vs. Asteroid Head (1-3)
Asteroid Head gave the Goats a scare last weekend, and have the talent to do the same to The Barracudas. Star Bar is easily one of the best teams in the league, but besides their domination of The Fightin’ Harpies they haven’t really overpowered any team. Star Bar barely escaped The Goats earlier in the season, and we’ll see if they can barely escape the quickly improving A-Heads.
Prediction: Asteroid Head > Barracudas (BELIEVE!)
Single – South Park @ 7pm
West Coast Saloon (2-2) vs. Love Garden Squids (4-0)
This game should probably be ranked higher, but I don’t feel like rearranging everything. West Coast is a great team, but Love Garden dominated the very talented Rowdies in Week 5, and will likely have a similar showing against West Coast.
Prediction: The Squids > West Coast Saloon
Peanuts & Crackerjacks – Game of the Week – Hobbs @ 9pm
Los Luchadores (4-0) vs. Girls with Low Self Esteem (1-3)
Possibly one of the most lopsided GOTWs I can remember. Los Luchadores doesn’t appear to be as tough as they were last year and The Girls are much better, perhaps that will lead to a late night upset that keeps people in the stands entertained. However the game goes, it better start with the National Anthem, end with fireworks, and be filled with streakers. Looking forward to Cougar getting on Santos’ back for delay of game due to puppetry.
Prediction: Los Luchadores > Girls with Low Self Esteem
Chilly Dog’n It – Lyons West @ 7pm
Balls Deep (2-2) vs. Free State Brewery (1-3)
Balls Deep will be itching to get a win after their close loss to The Screamers during Week 4. The Growlers have tons of great players, but I don’t see them pulling out a win with Balls Deep clearly getting stronger with every game.
Prediction: Balls Deep > The Growlers
Soft Salty Pretzels – Water Tower Park @ 7pm
Red Lyon (3-1) vs. Blue Collar Rockets (0-4)
Red Lyon will dominate, but Blue Collar has better shirts.
Prediction: Red Lyon > The Rockets
Coach Billy Gay Cyrus’ Official KVKL Top 5
1. Los Luchadores (4-0) Ugh, somebody beat them.
2. Pita Pit (4-0) …not for long! FFFFEEEEEESSSS!!!
3. Chalmersiz (4-0) …Priest bumps them up 2 spots.
4. Sacred Sword (4-0) …you can rearange the letters in their name to read: Sad Screw Rod. Anagrams mother fucker!
5. Love Garden Squids (4-0) …so good.
USA! USA! USA! Have a great Sunday! Drive fast, take chances.
Coach Billy Gay Cyrus