Hey Kickballers,
It’s Week 7, and the end of divisional play! YAY! This week is packed with competitive games. I counted ten that I am particularly excited for. Below you’ll find my top six noteworthy Sunday games, a paragraph of bullshit for each match-up, and a laughable prediction—in that order. It should be in the upper 90s by 5:30, with a heat index in the triple digits. My thoughts and prayers are with those who play the 5:30 games. Remember to have a sip of water for every PBR you shotgun. Chug. Sip. Chug. The Chalmersiz’s captain had very eloquent post about the current heat wave on his Facebook page, “Breaking News: excessive heat warning issued from Friday afternoon until sometime in late August when Mother Nay Nay decides to stop being effin Cray Cray…#toohottocandle.” Well said, Candlepants.
Grand Slam
Pita Pit (6-0) vs. Das Boot (6-0) – Broken Arrow Park at 7pm
The two powerhouses in the William S. Burroughs pool finally meet. Both with perfect records, both relatively unchallenged this season, both with plans to win it all. I’ve played these two teams and they are without a doubt top fivers. I imagine most people will pick the winningest team in the league to clinch the top spot in the Burroughs pool, but I’m calling the upset. The Pit are great, but as long as Das Boot picks their pitches, I don’t see Pita’s defense being strong enough to stop The Boats spectacular offense. Prediction: DAS BOOT > PITA PIT
Home Run
Chalmersiz (6-0) vs. Slowride (5-1) – Water Tower Park at 5:30pm
Another fight for a top spot in a division! The John Brown division, as a whole, is arguably the weakest group in the league. Slowride is talented, confident, and athletic, but I don’t see them hanging with the ones—they’re a competitive two, maybe. Though, The Chalmersiz haven’t really proven much this year, except that they haven’t gotten worse, but that should be enough to walk away with a win this Sunday. CHALMERSIZ > SLOWRIDE (Curtis is too hottt for Erbear to candle!)
Triple
Los Luchadores (4-2) vs. Red Lyon (4-2) – South Park at 5:30pm
Don’t let these team’s mid-season slumps fool you, they are two fantastic groups of kickball players. Red Lyon has been struggling—barely escaping The Blue Collar Rockets, and falling by one point to The Slowride Fasthumpers. Los Luchadores is on a two game slide, and heading into week three needing a win to maintain any clout from winning the 2010 Championship. I honestly believe the field might actually play a huge part in the game, and tip the advantage to Red Lyon, a team filled with grass lovers (Both kinds! Ha-woo! See what I did there?). Prediction: Red Lyon > Los Luchadores
Double
Liberty Hall Late Fees (2-3) vs. The Eldridge Ghosts (4-2) – Lyons West at 7pm
The 7th and Mass showdown! Sure, Quantril burnt their building down once, but we burnt ourselves down twice! FEES!!! One of the best games I can recall during my time in the KVKL was when we played The Eldridge during Week 7 in 2008. The Ghosts were one of three undefeated teams in the league (6-0) and they were playing one of the worst ranked teams in the league, a young and very attractive Late Fees team (0-6). In triple digit temperatures, at the shade-less Broken Arrow field, with our line-up scribbled on the back of a PBR case, we beat them 21-12. It was pretty great for us. Anyways, they’re a good team, this will be a great game, and if The Eldridge loses they have to turn that ugly-ass parking lot next to their building back into a cute little park. Prediction: MOST FUN WINS!!!!!
Single
Balls Deep (2-4) vs. Wildman (3-3) – South Park at 7pm
Balls Deep and Wildman are two equally awesome teams that know how to be competitive and have fun. Should be pretty kick ass, especially with all that shade at South Park once the sun starts to go down. Prediction Wildman > Balls Deep
Peanuts and Crackerjacks
Tellers (1-6) vs. Channel 6 (2-4) – Hobbs Park at 9pm – Game of the Week
I haven’t watched Channel 6 this year, but I have watched Tellers and they seem to have a lot of fun. Will Channel 6 be recording this game? They never showed the footage from when we beat them during the Game of the Week last year! Tellers > Channel 6 (The Weatherman loses every week, until the daily highs drop below 95)
Coach Billy Gay Cyrus’ Official KVKL Top 5:
1. Love Garden Squids – They’ve been playing great kickball, and are being pretty ruthless about it.
2. Chalmersiz – Kicking ass and having fun doing it.
3. Das Boot – They will impress this week.
4. Pita Pit – Nearly perfect kickball players, but beatable.
5. Sacred Sword – Tough dudes. Probably the only team that will be able to say they beat Star Bar this year.
It’s all down hill from here. Three more regular season games, two to three weeks of tournament action, and then we have to hang up our cleats and watch The Chiefs suck it up.
Hugs and kicks,
Coach Billy Gay Cyrus