Unsung Heroes, Sung; or, Simply, Player Profiles, Vol. 2 — All-Ladies Edition

Good morning, KVKL! Welcome to another edition of Unsung Heroes, Sung; or, Simply, Players Profiles—Ladies Edition. Let’s just get right into it, shall we?

Leading off is Brittany Fellers, Mario Chalmersiz

Brittany here has also been a teammate with me in city league and probably some KVKL-related events that didn’t involve going to Tonic one Thursday night, ‘cuz that totally didn’t happen and it was pretty totally not awesome I promise. . . . Anyway, I’ve known her personally for several years now, having met her through dodgeball in, like, 2010 or something. (Is that right? Jesus. Old.)

She joined the league in 2009 mid-season with Balls Deep (now Taco Tuesday), back when Simon Skinner and Cathe Decena were still on the team, and her first game, no less, was Game of the Week. After a couple seasons, she joined the Mario Chalmersiz (2012) and has been with them since. You’ll usually spot her at Rover, Short Stop, or 2nd base, and usually with a can (yes, Erin, a can!) of Shiner’s Ruby Red Bird or PBR with a side of Fireball (gross).

Brittany’s most memorable play happened in one of her early games with Chalmersiz: While playing Rover, a kicker blasted it toward 3rd where (I’m presuming Adrian) tipped it up to where Brittany could catch it. The runner on 1st didn’t tag and before s/he knew what to do with themselves—boom


Brittany really is an awesome person, so if you see her out on the fields (or the Replay or Red Lyon, wherever), say Hi! or Kick ass! or Party! or whatever else people randomly say to strangers from adult rec leagues.

And on deck, say Hello to my fellow Wildma’am . . .

Betsy PedersonWildman Attack Force

Betsy’s been a part of Wildman for the three years she’s been in the league, and predominantly plays Short Stop and Rover—although more recently she’s been playing more at 2nd due to Abby’s absence. In those three years, her most memorable game she’s been a part of is Wildman’s Game of the Week last season against Hotel Lobby—you know, the one it barely won. “[Wildman] didn’t play [its] best, but goddamnit it was fun as hell to finally play in a Game of the Week!” she says. It was also her first GotW in the league, and, as I recall, she played pretty damn well.

Last season, she also filled in at 2nd for Abby in a tough Rank Play game against the Love Garden Squids. Maybe my most memorable play of hers comes from that game (and she agrees): A runner was on 1st and Simon was there on defense, with Betsy at 2nd. The kicker blasted a line drive right to her, much to the base-runner’s delight, but she caught it, much to the Squids’ chagrin. She quickly threw it back to an extending Simon who caught it and got the double play. Trust me, it was sick.

She loves playing against Happy Shirt, “mutual respect,” and her go-to kickball drinks are PBR and Fireball (gross!), but if you see her at Henry’s, order her a Tom Collins—a good one, not the well one. She’ll love you for it.

And last but not least, we have the Ladybird Lady in the hole . . .

Lane “Cookie” Eisenbart, Ladybird Harpies

Lane’s been a part of the team for all five of its years in the league, and is usually playing Rover, though occasionally she’s Short Stop, and less often Catcher. Some of her most memorable games have featured strippers, but, really—who actually remembers the games when there are strippers?

Wait, she wrote “streakers.” I just automatically went to strippers for some reason. . . . Ahem. Well, it’s bound to happen one of these days, right? Anyway.

As for her favorite non-stripper/streaker-involved game, it was one of the Harpies’ games against SpacePussy (now D’z Nutz). It was a couple years ago, she said, and the two teams shared a dugout because of the heat (comrades in arms, after all). “Best of the Worst lovefest,” she called it. “I really loved that game with the Ghosts in the rain last year. Grass game. Swam home on my bike,” she continued. Kinda sounds like last night.

And her most memorable play? It’s probably something so simple we can all relate to to some degree, especially in one’s early years: “I’m just ecstatic every time I cross home plate or catch a ball.” What’s not to love? Definitely not the cookies—I keep hearing good things, but I’ve never had the fortune to play against the Harpies, so I wouldn’t know. But what’s not to love about cookies? She has a special dinosaur-shaped one that she’s pumped to use for Kristin C-S and D’z Nutz, the proprietor of her new favorite jersey among the league.

So if you see Lane out there and have a spare Happy Camper, share. She does a lot for her teammates (and who else regularly brings cookies for their opponents?) and loves the league—“the sense of community, the exercise, the long socks, the group public drinking, the dancing with [her] ladies Sunday nights.”

Seriously. What’s not to love?


Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I’m done. Good morning/afternoon/night! See ya somewhere, sometime, some Sunday.