Love Garden 16 > 5 Harper Valley PTA
The new-look Love Garden Squids looked new perhaps in appearance only. The squad scored in six of nine innings, and allowed Harper Valley PTA to score its 5 runs solely in the 9th inning, and never allowed runners past second base until the 7th. The Squids’ lineup is dangerously similar to last season’s, though for this game it kicked twelve players—ostensibly to give everyone a chance to play in what was essentially a given outcome.
Next up: Love Garden @ Ghosts and Harper Valley PTA vs. Red Lyon
Chalmersiz 10 > 1 Where’s My Pitches
Never known for abundant scoring, Chalmersiz only put up ten runs against the newly named Where’s My Pitches?, a team that has in the past struggled to put up runs itself—and Sunday was no different, only scoring once in the 8th inning (and not getting past second base save for that same inning). The good news? Where’s My Pitches? had a full team show up. The bad news: It plays Happy Shirt next.
Next up: Where’s My Pitches? vs. Happy Shirt and Chalmersiz @ Taco Tuesday
Sacred Sword 11 > 5 Free State Growlers
Sacred Sword’s balanced kicking resulted in eight of its eleven kickers scoring. The Free State Growlers, on the other hand, had only four of its eleven score, none of whom were after the five-spot. Not only that, but none of Free State’s kickers past the five-spot made it beyond second base. For a team that’s been nearly identical for years, it might be time to switch things up.
Next up: Sacred Sword vs. Jazzhaus and Free State Growlers @ Goats
Jazzhaus 6 > 5 Goats
The surprise of the day, Jazzhaus took down the Goats in extra innings. The Goats’ Carter Carter was the offensive MVP of the day—not only did he kick 1.000 (5/5) and score two runs, he was never even tagged out. This game could have ended much differently in the Jazzhaus’ favor had it capitalized on advancing to third base three additional times.
Next up: Goats vs. Free State Growlers and Jazzhaus @ Sacred Sword
Terrebonne Po’ Boys 9 > 6 Up to Eleven Late Fees
A closer game than people expected, the Terrebonne Po’ Boys only put up 9 against the Up to Eleven Late Fees. The reigning champs also only fielded ten players (six guys, four girls). The biggest difference was the Po’ Boys got on base 26 times, whereas the Late Fees only got on 11 times. The season just started, though—expect Terrebonne to have a full roster . . . eventually. The Late Fees had only two players/kicking spots get on base more than once.
Next up: Terrebonne Po’ Boys @ Space Pussy and Up to Eleven Late Fees @ Das Boot
Bad News Bagels 33 > 6 Bulletproof Tigers
The Bad News Bagels’ runners simply didn’t stop against the short-handed Bulletproof Tigers. With only eight players, the Tigers’ first step is for everyone to show up. The good news is that five of its eight players scored. The bad news (Bagels) is that 10 of 11 of the Bagels’ players scored, all of whom (except for one) scored multiple times. The worse news is that the Bulletproof Tigers play Los Matadores next. Expect the Bagels to try and run up the score this coming Game of the Week.
Next up: Bad News Bagels vs. Screamers and Bulletproof Tigers vs. Los Matadores
Das Boot 37 > 4 Space Pussy
Das Boot did its best Frank Zappa impression by transposing “The Black Page” to a KVKL score card. Space Pussy, meanwhile, did its best not to recreate John Cage’s “4’33.” It’s hard to stop a team that’s known for its home runs and is playing on the shortest field in the city on a particularly windy day against a team that had nine one-and-dones. The fact Space Pussy scored four is a victory in its own right.
Next up: Das Boot vs. Up to Eleven Late Fees and Space Pussy vs. Terrebonne Po’ Boys
Red Lyon 30 > 10 Ghosts
Red Lyon clicked in the third inning after the game was tied 5-5 in the second. Then for the next three the Lyon went on a relentless assault, outscoring the Ghosts 14-0. The Ghosts had a balanced kicking lineup, but its defense couldn’t stop the speedy, veteran-laden team of drinkers.
Next up: Ghosts vs. Love Garden Squids and Red Lyon @ Harper Valley PTA
Happy Shirt 29 > 3 Taco Tuesday
The outcome wasn’t much different from what was expected, except that Happy Shirt allowed Taco Tuesday’s first three kickers to score in the first inning. Granted, those were the only three runs allowed, which shows at least some promise for Taco Tuesday’s top three kickers. Player of the Game goes to Happy Shirt’s Andy Dalton who not only kicked 1.000, but also scored five out of six times at the plate.
Next up: Happy Shirt @ Where’s My Pitches? and Taco Tuesday vs. Chalmersiz
Wildman Attack Force 17 > 4 Kunt Punts
Wildman Attack Force welcomed five new players to its squad, while the former Corksuckers introduced its own new players to the league. Corksuckers’ leadoff kicker Raymond kicked an error-filled two-run homer in the third inning, but in a game of errors those things happen. All but two Wildman players scored, and three of the Kunt Punts’ ten players scored, two of which were by ten-spot kicker Mike ‘Shaq’ Shackelford, who is realistically former captain Ariel’s replacement.
Next up: Wildman Attack Force @ Brewballers and Kunt Punts @ Hotel Lobby
Los Matadores 25 > 5 Screamers
Los Matadores put up a well-balanced assault against the Screamers, including an impressive 11-run beatdown in the 5th inning, in which all but two kickers scored. That said, every player on Los Matadores’ lineup made it home, whereas only four for the Screamers did—including two runs from resident badass and Screamers returnee Caleb S. Still, though, it was a lot of the Screamers’ first time playing—and the opposite for Los Matadores.
Next up: Los Matadores vs. Bulletproof Tigers and Screamers @ Bad News Bagels
Hurtz D-Holes 11 > 4 Merchants of Death
With a team full of speedy veterans, it’s a wonder the Hurtz D-Holes didn’t put up more than 11 runs. A testament to reigning Less-Awesome Champions, the Merchants of Death’s defense, perhaps? The D-Holes still look to be a potential Final Four team. However, it needs more output from the bottom half of its lineup—its bottom six kickers were only on base seven times total for the entire game.
Note. The Merchants of Death’s scorecard was missing so delineating information from its offense isn’t possible at this time.
Next up: Hurtz D-Holes @ AsteroidHEAD and Merchants of Death @ Rats
Channel 6 16 > 3 Basil Ride
Basil Ride didn’t just struggle to get on base, it struggled to avoid a 3-and-out. In fact, it happened five out the nine innings, and nearly twice more. Channel 6, however, had only two all game. The game never really looked close, with Channel 6 putting up big numbers in the first and sixth innings, scoring four and five respectively.
Next up: Channel 6 vs. Murda, Inc. and Basil Ride @ Rockets
Hotel Lobby 16 > 6 Brewballers
The Brewballers didn’t get on base until the 4th inning. It then proceeded to score four (and even take the lead). Hotel Lobby broke it open in the 6th, taking a 7-3 lead, and in the final three innings scored nine runs. Brewballers scored two more in the 7th, but couldn’t get on base after that.
Next up: Hotel Lobby vs. Kunt Punts and Brewballers vs. Wildman Attack Force
Rockets 8 > 7 Murda, Inc.
Murda, Inc. may need to adjust its lineup for future games—four of its seven runs came from the bottom half, whereas the Rockets’ runs primarily came from the top half, including two from leadoff, Dave Owens. Additionally, Murda, Inc. kicked into three 3-and-outs, two of which came from its 2-3-4-spots.
Next up: Rockets vs. Basil Ride and Murda, Inc. @ Channel 6
Rats 11 > 2 AsteroidHEAD
The Rats started strong by scoring four in the first inning. AsteroidHEAD, meanwhile, only got to third base once (in the 1st) before finally scoring in the 6th. The crappy weather surely affected both teams’ playing styles, but a faster, more defensive-minded Rats team managed to capitalize and scored in five separate innings. AsteroidHEAD only scored in one.
Next up: AsteroidHEAD vs. Hurtz D-Holes and Rats vs. Merchants of Death