Week 7 Divisional Preview

Rockets > Channel 6
Bulletproof Tigers > Brewballers
Murda, Inc. > Basil Ride
Los Matadores = Wildman Attack Force
Where’s My Pitches? > Taco Tuesday
Up to Eleven Late Fees > Merchants of Death
Love Garden Squids > Goats
Happy Shirt > Chalmersiz
Free State Growlers > Ghosts
Kunt Punts > Screamers
AsteroidHEAD > Space Pussy
Das Boot > Rats
Hotel Lobby > Bad News Bagels
Jazzhaus > Harper Valley PTA
Red Lyon > Sacred Sword
Terrebonne Po’ Boys > Hurtz Donut D-Holes

John Brown Division
The winner of the Rockets @ Channel 6 game (Lyons West, 5 p.m.) could be the 2-seed out of the John Brown Division. Happy Shirt already has the 1-seed on lock, but there’s currently a three-way tie at 4-2 (Channel 6, Chalmersiz, Rockets), with two more at 3-3 (Basil Ride and Murda, Inc., both of which play today as well). The only guarantees right now are Happy Shirt (#1), and the winner of the Taco Tuesday @ Where’s My Pitches? game (Holcolm Right, 5 p.m.) will be #7 and the loser #8. If it turns out the way I see it, the Rockets will get the 2-seed, followed by Channel 6, Chalmersiz, Murda, Inc., Basil Ride, Where’s My Pitches? and Taco Tuesday.

Lyons West has two potentially great games at 5 p.m., so if you can make it out, do it. (Of course, there are great games city-wide.)

What’s surprising about the potential results of this division is the Chalmersiz dropping to a 4-seed, due to the tiebreaker between it and Channel 6. It could always surprise Happy Shirt by giving it its first regular season loss in about 18 years, thereby moving up to a 3-seed (both the Rockets and Channel 6 beat the Chalmersiz, by 7 and 2 respectively).

Carrie A. Nation
Perhaps the most intriguing division this week goes Carrie A. Nation’s. The top four teams play each other today: the Terrebonne Po’ Boys play Hurtz Donut D-Holes in Game of the Week, and the Rats play Das Boot at Holcolm Gold, 7 p.m. Should both the Rats and Hurtz win, there will be a three-way tie for first place. As the numbers stand now between those four teams:

Team | Record | Runs/Runs Allowed | Run Differential | Win %

Das Boot4-214-1334.15%
Hurtz D-Holes5-118558.06%
Terrbonne Po’Boys6-0301161.22%


If Terrebonne wins, it will lock down the 1-seed; and if the Rats win it will get the 2-seed, with Hurtz and Das Boot following at 3 and 4. If Hurtz and Das Boot win, Hurtz will be the 1-seed, followed by Terrebonne at 2, Das Boot at 3, and Rats at 4. There are a lot of possibilities, but Terrebonne won’t drop below the 3-seed, and Das Boot won’t rise above the 3-seed.

Similar to the John Brown, the surprise is Das Boot potentially dropping to a 4-seed—a team that hasn’t been below the 2s in at least three years.

Additionally, if the Merchants of Death beat the Up to Eleven Late Fees, and AsteroidHEAD beats Space Pussy, there will be another three-way tie for the 5-, 6, and 7-seeds. Should Space Pussy beat AsteroidHEAD, and Merchants defeats the Fees, then Merchants would climb to the 5-seed. There’s a lot going on in this division, really.

William S. Burroughs
Wildman Attack Force locked up the 1-seed last week with a win against Hotel Lobby and a Los Matadores loss to the Bad News Bagels. Should the Bagels give Hotel Lobby its second consecutive loss, it would earn the 2-seed, followed by Hotel Lobby at 3, and Los Matadores at 4. Regardless of the outcome between Wildman and Los Matadores, they will be locked in at the 1- and 4-seeds.

The bottom half is also fairly open. A Kunt Punts win over the Screamers would lock them in at the 5-seed. If the Brewballers want to move up at all from the bottom, it has to win against the Bulletproof Tigers and hope for a Screamers win.

The surprise of the William S. Burroughs division, again, is the 4-seed: Los Matadores. Since winning the championship in 2010, it has seen its share of personnel changes and has struggled at times in the regular season. It does manage to get it together for the tournament, though, and as the league looks now, the 4-seeds are going to be pretty damn tough.

Langston Hughes
Having beaten both Red Lyon and Sacred Sword handily, the Love Garden Squids locked up the 1-seed last week. Red Lyon and Sacred Sword play today for the 2- and 3-seeds. With the first week surprise win over the Goats, the Jazzhaus has a chance to claim the 4-seed should it beat Harper Valley PTA, thereby knocking the Goats to the 5-seed. If Harper Valley PTA wins, and the Ghosts knock off the Free State Growlers, the PTA will move up to the 6-seed, with the Ghosts moving up to the 7th, and Free State dropping to 8th.

The Goats’ potential drop to the 5-seed is the biggest surprise to me. After claiming its first Final Four appearance last season, and earning a 1-seed the year before, a drop to the 5s is a shock. Granted, it lost some key offensive players, but its core group from seasons’ past remains. Love Garden has played some incredible kickball all season long, and while that isn’t unheard of, I admittedly didn’t expect it to so thoroughly dismantle the likes of Red Lyon and Sacred Sword. The Goats did beat Love Garden two years ago to claim that 1-seed, but both these teams are wildly different.

Good luck everyone! Remember—win or lose. Those are your options. Win or lose.