The Week that Didn’t Happen; or, Or Did It? — Sixteen Missing Games

Goats > Rats @ 5 p.m., YSC
The Goats struck early and put up a few runs before the Rats’ defense tightened up, and the team got pretty close before the Goats pulled away in the 7th with some clutch kicking by the top of its order.

Love Garden Squids > Thunderkickz @ 5 p.m., YSC
Thunderkickz scored a few runs in the first inning, much like last week against Red Lyon, but it couldn’t handle the Squids’ offensive prowess before being shut out the rest of the game. This Love Garden team may legitimately be better than last season.

Wildman Attack Force > Nick Lerner’s “Homies” @ 5 p.m., YSC
Wildman Attack Force almost pitched a perfect game against the newly sponsored Homies, but in the 8th Ryan Ward barely missed a ball in the outfield that allowed Cougar to get a nice double. Still, a double alone couldn’t outscore the high-flying Steven Seagal reference.

Red Lyon Tavern > Brewballers @ 5 p.m., YSC
Red Lyon put on a show over the new faces of the Brewballers, scoring 7 runs in the first, and then, you know, continued to do that for the remainder of the game. Brewballers put up a few runs late in the game, but Red Lyon also played four girls in the outfield and Nick Lerner at 1st base. I mean, who does that? Zing.

I’d like to also take this time to offer my sincerest condolences to former Brewballers teammates, Michelle and Ryan. They recently lost their son, Greyson. Whether you know them or not, please dedicate a moment to them. They are genuinely amazing people. All our Love.

Woost > Free State Growlers @ 5 p.m., Holcolm Red
Dan did what Dan do and had two base-clearing triples and the Woost used an efficient offensive strike to take control. The Growlers kept it close for the first 5 innings, but a handful of defensive mistakes allowed the future Best of Lawrence winners to take advantage on the base path. Wait, both these teams win Best of Lawrence categories! Good job!

AsteroidHEAD vs. Merchants of Death @ 5 p.m., Holcolm Gold
I don’t know what happened in this game. I was too busy watching every other game . . . from the future!

Los Matadores > Screamers @ 5 p.m., Holcolm Blue
The Screamers’ offensive (and defensive) woes continue while Los Matadores just keeps winning—and winning big. Well, beside that game against the Ghosts, who knows what happened there. But at least the Screamers had a full squad show up this week—small victories, right?

Hurtz Donut D-Holes > Ladybird Harpies @ 7 p.m., YSC
This was a pretty fun game to watch, all things considered. Hurtz didn’t score a lot because the Harpies’ defense has significantly improved in the offseason, but Hurtz knew it was the better team and just rolled with it.

Bad News Bagels > Mario Chalmersiz @ 7 p.m., YSC
Wow! what a game! It went and back and forth the entire time but the Bagels took the last lead in the top of the 8th. Mario Chalmersiz had a couple last shots to take the lead (and win it in the 9th), it just got stuck in some unfortunate kicking situations and one bad call by James Wiggins at 3rd base. Still one helluva game to watch!

Jazzhaus > D’s Nuts @ 7 p.m., YSC
D’s Nuts had its best kicking day of the season so far, though its defense still struggles to know exactly where to place its players effectively—and Jazzhaus fully exploited that.

Pizza Party!! > Where’s My Pitches? @ 7 p.m., YSC
Pizza Party!! finally got its kicking struggles under control with its lead-off kicking 1.000 and its ladies racking up 5 RKIs. Where’s My Pitches? put up a fight, though, striking first and putting up three in the 1st inning. A high-scoring affair, just like in 2013, these two teams really battled, scoring a cumulative 33 runs.

Rockets > Liberty Hall Late Fees @ 7 p.m., Holcolm Red
Future Best of Lawrence winner James Findley had three home runs and six RKIs alone, and the Rockets won big against the struggling Liberty Hall Late Fees. (I deliberately used the word ‘struggle’ three times in three descriptions.) When the Rockets are clicking it can be a tough team to beat, while the Fees keep having fun? I guess? it looks like it does. And Everett’s still pretty cool.

Das Boot > Corksuckers @ 7 p.m., Holcolm Gold
After a tough loss to Taco Tuesday last week, the Corksuckers wanted to get a nice win for its resume, it just couldn’t handle a hungry Das Boot team. Even without the short field at Holcolm Left, Das Boot put on a bit of a clinic, earning its first win of the season. Weird, right?

Channel 6 > Sacred Sword @ 7 p.m., Holcolm Blue
Sacred Sword is still winless for its first 0-3 start in its long, long history. Channel 6, meanwhile, improves to 3-0 with solid defense and versatile kicking. I never would’ve thought I’d see Sacred Sword without a win three weeks into the season, and it won’t be much easier next week against Red Lyon.

Happy Shirt > Kansas Tree Care @ 7 p.m., Hobbs
This game wasn’t nearly as exciting as it looked on paper, but it played out about as expected. These two could easily be Final Four teams (and probably will be) so get used to hearing about them the rest of the season.

Taco Tuesday > Ghosts @ 9 p.m., Hobbs
After having some tough years, both Taco Tuesday and the Ghosts look to be improving. Taco Tuesday is 3-0, and while the Ghosts are 1-2, it had a close game against Los Matadores, 4-2. The Ghosts’ defense looked good for the most part—and the two teams were evenly matched—but a couple errors late in the 8th doomed it. Congrats, Taco Tuesday!

That got weird.