I am planning on posting betting lines each week as part of the weekly previews, but I don’t want to end up like these guys. Just to be clear, I will say “fake” as many times as possible until I am confident I won’t be mistaken for a bookie.
Each week I will pull the fake betting lines from the fake AP newswire.
It will look like this:
| Favorite | Line | Underdog | O/U total runs | |
| Love Garden | 21 | Harper Valley | 28 | |
| Wildman | 18 | Rats | 25 | |
| Hurtz Donut | 17 | Jazzhaus | 20 | |
| Das Boot | 15 | Tellerdactyls | 20 | |
| Los Matadores | 14 | $P@C3Pu$$y! | 26 | |
| Abraxas | 13 | Ghosts | 25 | |
| Happy Shirt | 12 | Dirty Mike | 22 | |
| Screamers | 10 | Balls Deep | 16 | |
| Goats | 10 | West Coast | 20 | |
| Reign of Terror | 8 | Toe Pokes | 18 | |
| Red Lyon | 7 | Brew Ballers | 18 | |
| Chalmersiz | 6 | Liberty Hall | 18 | |
| Slowride | 6 | Bullet Proof Tigers | 12 | |
| Corksuckers | 5 | Free State | 16 | |
| Party!! | 4 | Rockets | 20 | |
| Murda | 2 | Asteroid Head | 23 |
In addition to the fake favorite, fake underdog, and fake point spread, I will include the fake over/under total runs for each game.
I encourage people to make predictions in the comments and/or discuss what games they are looking forward to watching/playing.
Predict if teams will cover the fake spread, take the fake points, or just ignore the fake table all together and pick a fake winner and a fake loser. Will it be a high-scoring battle or low-scoring grind?
Oh, and here are the fake over/unders for wins, runs scored, and runs allowed for the season:
| Wins | Runs Scored | Runs Allowed | |
| Happy Shirt | 8.5 | 155.5 | 35.5 |
| Love Garden | 8.5 | 180.5 | 45.5 |
| Abraxas | 8.5 | 165.5 | 70.5 |
| Das Boot | 7.5 | 120.5 | 70.5 |
| Wildman Attack Force | 7.5 | 140.5 | 70.5 |
| Los Matadores | 7.5 | 135.5 | 80.5 |
| Chalmersiz | 7.5 | 115.5 | 45.5 |
| Goats | 7.5 | 160.5 | 85.5 |
| Red Lyon | 7.5 | 120.5 | 60.5 |
| Screamers | 7.5 | 110.5 | 60.5 |
| Party!! | 6.5 | 135.5 | 85.5 |
| Reign of Terror | 6.5 | 125.5 | 75.5 |
| Murda | 6.5 | 125.5 | 125.5 |
| Liberty Hall | 6.5 | 95.5 | 105.5 |
| Corksuckers | 6.5 | 120.5 | 70.5 |
| Hurtz | 6.5 | 85.5 | 110.5 |
| Slowride | 6.5 | 100.5 | 80.5 |
| Brewballers | 5.5 | 105.5 | 125.5 |
| Toe Pokes | 5.5 | 100.5 | 95.5 |
| Bullet Proof Tigers | 4.5 | 105.5 | 115.5 |
| Free State Growlers | 4.5 | 95.5 | 150.5 |
| West Coast Saloon | 4.5 | 95.5 | 115.5 |
| Dirty Mike | 4.5 | 120.5 | 110.5 |
| Ghosts | 4.5 | 130.5 | 165.5 |
| Asteroid Head | 4.5 | 80.5 | 145.5 |
| Balls Deep | 3.5 | 70.5 | 145.5 |
| Rockets | 3.5 | 105.5 | 110.5 |
| Tellerdactyls | 2.5 | 70.5 | 110.5 |
| Harper Valley PTA | 2.5 | 70.5 | 230.5 |
| $p@CP3pu$$y! | 1.5 | 85.5 | 200.5 |
| Rats | 1.5 | 80.5 | 240.5 |
| Jazzhaus | 1.5 | 75.5 | 190.5 |
I won’t post this second fake table every fake week, but these are the fake numbers that fake teams fake hovered around last fake year.
Call your fake bookies, place your fake bets. For the sanctity of the game, please refrain from fake betting on your own team.
This is all in fun, but for all you hardcore gamblers out there, I do accept Bitcoin. (Just a joke.)
I hope I said “fake” enough.